Failings

One should never post blog entries when one is frustrated or angry.

I owe a huge apology to my sister-in-law. In my post on being blessed, I talked about the importance of my family and how much of a blessing they are. However, in my last posting I unfairly described her in a way that is neither flattering to her, nor entirely factually accurate.

My sister-in-law (my wife's sister) lives in our basement. Since my wife and I are trying to help her move into the realities of being an independent adult, she pays rent. We don't charge her much more than what it costs to heat what would be an otherwise unused area of our house, the utilities she uses, and for internet access. Her situation is difficult as she doesn't have much in the way of marketable skills and is working in the retail world. She has a keen mind (for her age) and is a very hard worker. She is thoughtful and caring and helps my wife out more often than I'm told. Its not unusual to come home to a running dishwasher that has been emptied and loaded by my sister-in-law. This stands in stark contrast to her brother who figured he paid rent and didn't have to do anything.

My frustration evident in my previous post stands, but it was entirely unfair to label my sister-in-law as a source of my frustrations. Do I wish she were doing things a little differently in her life? Yes. But those are her decisions to make, not mine.

In essence, my sister-in-law should have been mentioned in my post on blessings. In an indirect way she was. I am blessed to have a family that loves me and puts up with my occasional irrationality. My sister-in-law is part of that family and I should have said so.

To my sister-in-law: I'm sorry. So is my mom ;)

I also recognize that my frustration level is entirely too high and is largely out of control at this point. My wife pointed out that my last posting was on my daughter's birthday. When I should have been being thankful for a healthy, smart, and active daughter, I was venting at how much the demands on my time were stressing me out. This is not who I am or who I want to be.

Life as it exists now

"May you live in interesting times." - Chinese Curse

Isn't it funny how life seems to demand most out of you when you least have it to give. I'm in my second to last class for my degree and there is about two and a half weeks left. The class I am teaching is just getting started and there are all the frantic e-mails being sent back and fort to reassure students that things aren't nearly as bad as they think it is. We're undergoing a major change in our management at work. Then, this past Tuesday my in-laws show up (surprise!) for my daughter's birthday. I'm managing the stress ok, but I long for the peace and quiet of an empty home.

My wife draws out of me some qualities that I'm sure are good qualities, but that are, for the most part, inconvenient. Her siblings are at the just past high school stage. Her brother is out on his own now (and even gotten married), but her sister is still just getting started. For both of them, we have opened our home and given them a place to live for very cheap rent (I wouldn't allow them to live with us for free). We did this with the hopes that both of them would be able to go to college with only part time work needed to survive. So far, neither of them have pursued an education. My wife manages to draw out a generousity that I simply don't posess on my own. Its not that I'm cheap or don't want to help where I can, but I just don't think in those terms.

Edited out for factual inaccuracies due to my frustration level. I will not let something like this happen in the future.

So I'm left in a quandry, one that has direct implications on my near future as well as my longer term future (since my final project is for a department I'm hoping to break into). Needless to say, my life is very interesting right now.